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Marriage vows are promises made by the bride and groom to each other during a wedding ceremony. In Western culture, these promises have traditionally included the notions of affection ("love, comfort, keep"), faithfulness ("forsaking all others"), unconditionality ("for richer or for poorer", "in sickness and in health"), and permanence ("as long as we both shall live", "until death do us part"). Most wedding vows are taken from traditional religious ceremonies. Touching love poems or lyrics from a love song can be revised as wedding vows. Some couples choose to write their own vows, rather than relying on standard ones spoken by the celebrant (priest). The Top 10 Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows 1. You might get better ideas if you both write your ideas separately then get together for a final draft 2. Use verbs like, honor, cherish, promise, pledge are the best words to use. 3. Ask each other questions about your values. What have you learned from each other. 4. Be personal but not too personal. You want your vows to have meaning 5. The best vows use old phrases and your words together 6. Keep it short, 1-3 minutes 7. If you need to use guides, bible passages, love letters, etc 8. Read them over and over, practice reading to each other to be sure they sound like you want 9. You can carry your vows with you in case you were to forget. 10. Be sincere and honest. Speak from your heart
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| Traditional Wedding Vows What exactly are traditional wedding vows? Think: “With this ring, I thee wed.” Any vow that follows the skeleton: “____1____ you are ______2_____. Today, I take you to be my ____3_____. I promise ______4______. I vow to ______5______, for _____6_______” is safe to consider a traditional vow.Use the numbers in the blanks to fill in the following in this skeleton, and you’ve got yourself a basic traditional, all-purpose wedding vow. 1. Your fiancé’s name. Non-Traditional Wedding Vows Non-traditional vows aren’t religious and allow you to be more creative with the form. The following is an example of a non-traditional vow: “My dearest Phillip, you are the most unbelievable person I have ever met. You know more about me than I know about myself, and have been amazingly wonderful to me since the day we met. You compliment in a way that no other can. Some speak of soul mates, but I believe it was pure chance, and for that chance, I am forever grateful. I believe every moment is a learning opportunity, and I look forward to growing old with you while learning along side you, forever and ever as long as we both shall live.” Most people who use this type of vow can answer yes to some, if not all of the following questions: - The circumstance of meeting your fiancé: If the answer to any of these questions yes, you may want to consider using non-traditional wedding vows at your ceremony. “You, Amelia, are the loveliest lady and I, Phillip, will look forward to building my life together with you. You came into my life at a time when I needed you most, and for that I am eternally thankful. I look forward to sharing the coming years of ups, downs, victories, and failures with you and only you. I feel like my heart has grown two sizes since meeting you, and will encourage it to grow more with everyday I spend with you by my side. I look forward to learning from you more each day of our eternal bond.” “There is no comparison for the love that I, Amelia, hold for you, Phillip on this day. I can only hope that you feel the same way and we can look at each other each day with the same loving adoration ten, twenty, fifty years from now as we do today. You have taught me so much about love already and I feel like I have a mountain left to learn. And I am willing to open myself to you and be forever faithful. You are my best friend and I could not imagine spending my life with another soul. Thank you, Phillip, for allowing me to see the true joy that love can bring.” Looking for something a little shorter? Something like this will work beautifully: “I, Amelia, will hand my body and soul to you, Phillip, for safekeeping in your heart. I know that you will not let it spoil, for you are the love of my life and will stay by my side for as long as we both shall live.” Religious Wedding Vows Some will refer to religious vows as traditional vows. For the purpose of this guide and making a distinction between the two, consider the following: Religious vows are those which refer to God or the presence of a religious figure. Choosing religious vows is a matter of personal preference, after discussion. Most likely, you will want to choose religious vows if: - You and your partner come from the same church or faith, and/or share the same values There are general religious vows, such as the ones below: “I, Phillip, offer you, Amelia, my hand in marriage under the watch of God and our families. I promise to honor and obey, love unconditionally, and cherish each moment we have together as our last. I will always respect that you have your own goals, and look forward to being a part of those for now and until the end of time. For this is my solemn vow.” “I promise to hold you, Phillip, as the one true love of my life on this day and forever forward. As we stand before each other on this day, in front of our friends and families and under the eyes of God, I solemnly vow to spend each day of my life with you and only you by my side.” “Amelia, I love you. I want to promise to day to stand by you forever and learn how to be a better person with you by my side. I want to devote each day to learning how to better serve Christ with you. We shall create a life together that shall honor our families, our friends, and Him.” In the case of these vows, it is important to talk with the minister, priest, or official leading your ceremony long before your ceremony. He or she will most likely have specific vows they want you to use. They will probably take the following forms: Below are some specific denominational religious vows: Roman Catholic Episcopal Protestant Methodist Presbyterian
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