What does protocol say?
Protocol states that regardless of who broke the engagement, the bride should return the engagement ring. The only exceptions to this is if the ring is an heirloom from her own family or if she received the ring as a Christmas or birthday gift.
Etiquette rules usually state that an engagement ring should be returned when a wedding is called off no matter who broke the engagement, however the legal system has differing opinions on this subject. Because of this , you might want to check with your state laws and how those courts handle the subject.
You might find that the circumstances that determine if an engagement ring has to be returned might be determined by where you live, how you received the engagement ring, and who broke off the engagement.
Some courts in the following states: Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin, look at an engagement ring as a conditional gift that has been given in contemplation of marriage. Then if there is no marriage, the engagement ring needs to be returned.
The courts in these states also believe that the reasoning for no-fault divorces holds for no-fault broken engagements so an engagement ring should always be returned regardless of who decided to call off the engagement.
In California, if the guy breaks the engagement, he won't get the ring back but if he doesn't break the engagement, he can request its return.
Montana courts have held the belief that an engagement ring is an unconditional gift and so it doesn't need to be given back.
Since antique and heirloom rings have become so popular if you are considering giving a one as an engagement ring, legal experts recommend having a prenuptial agreement that states who will keep the engagement ring in the event of a break up. After all you wouldn't want great-grandmothers ring to be sitting in a box of an ex-finance'.
In accepting a ring, the bride-to-be promises her hand in marriage. As long as she is willing to fulfil her promise, she has honored the contract. If he calls it off, she can keep the ring. However, if she terminates the engagement, she makes it clear she is no longer willing to keep the promise and should therefore not benefit from the ring. Since each situation is different, here are some things to think about before making a decision.
• If the bride calls off the wedding and her ring was a gift from the groom, tradition says it is appropriate for her to give it back.
• If the groom calls it off, the bride may want to give him his ring back because she does not want to be reminded of their failed engagement.
• If the ring is a family heirloom, it should be given back to the family it came from, regardless of why the wedding was cancelled.
• If the couple bought the ring together, they need to decide what to do with it, as they would with any other joint purchases they've made.
If the ring becomes an issue and is under the value of $2000, it can be settled in your local small claims court.
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